Nightmares
by MonicaKateBingCastle
Summary: A devastating secret from Kerry’s past may be revealed when a mysterious young woman is brought into the ER.This is A Carter/Kerry fic so if you don't like them turn back now.
1. Default Chapter

This story takes place during the 8th season. However there will be a few differences in this story and they are Luka and Abby are still together, Kerry isn't gay she is happily married to Carter, Malucci was never fired and Peter never left. (Hey a girl can dream can't she LOL)   
  
  
Disclaimer: All ER characters belong to Warner Bros., Michael Criction, and NBC. Zoey Warner and Phoebe Sacks, Maura, and Troy are my characters.   
  
Rating: PG-13 for language and mild description of sexual assault.  
  
A devastating secret from Kerry's past may be revealed when a mysterious young woman is brought into the ER.  
  
Chapter 1: Nightmares  
  
Kerry Weaver sighed as she looked at today's date on the calendar at the admit desk it was an anniversary of sorts. An anniversary she'd much rather forget. It happened 20 years ago but it still stayed fresh in her mind. She never told anyone, not even John. Kerry was lost in her thoughts when she heard someone calling her. She looked up and saw Malucci standing there. "Hey chief you alright" She nodded "Yes Dave I'm fine don't you have patients to see." Malucci smiled "Actually chief I don't" Kerry grabbed a chart and handed it to him. "Now you do" He looked at the chart. "Oh man butt boils again" "Come on chief give me a break" She glared at him "Go Dave or I'll have you doing skut work for a month!" Malucci sighed and walked away.   
  
Kerry yawned she was beat not only had she just dealt with Malucci which was enough to tire out anyone but she had been on for nearly 24 hours with out a break. She turned to Randi. "Randi I'm going to take a nap page me if it gets busy" Randi popped a bubble with her gum. "Okay Dr. Weaver" she went back to reading her latest issue of Cosmo.   
  
Kerry stretched out on the gurney. It didn't take her long to fall asleep but it wasn't a sound sleep she was plagued with nightmares. She screamed out in her sleep. "No pleases stop, you're hurting me" Carter stood near the room talking to a patient when he heard Kerry's screams. He excused himself. He walked into the room to see Kerry moving a little. He sat down next to her and gently shook her. "Kerry wake up" She opened her eyes. When she felt someone touch her she let out a small scream. Carter looked at her. "Hey Kerry its okay its me Carter" She blinked and looked at him. "John" she whispered before falling into his embrace in tears. He gently rubbed her back. "Hey its okay honey it was just a dream you're safe now"  
  
Kerry took a deep breath she knew she had to tell him. She whispers "It wasn't a dream John" He looks at her "What do you mean" he asked. She looked at him and started to speak her voice barely a whisper. I was 19 years old a freshman in college I lived in the dorms with my bestfriend Phoebe Sacks. Carter stopped her. "Kerry what is this all about" She took a hold of his hand. "John please just listen" "One night Phoebe, her boyfriend Troy and I were at the library on campus studying for our midterms"" Phoebe got tired and wanted to go back to the dorms so her and Troy left and I stayed there and studied a little longer" "It was after midnight when I finally left" "The campus was dark and quite. I started walking to my dorm when someone grabbed me from behind" Kerry started to tremble a little. He put his hand over my mouth and told me if I screamed he'd kill me" He shoved me down on the ground" I tried to get away but he grabbed me and I felt something crack against my leg then he said "you can't get away from me bitch" He tore my clothes he climbed on top of me and he, he raped me"  
  
Kerry was crying now. She looked at Carter. "I was so scared it hurt so much" He pulled her into his arms and held her. She whispers "I had never had sex before John he made me feel so dirty so disgusting" "it happened 20 years ago today it was on my mind that's why I dreamt about it" He held her tighter as a few tears escaped his eyes and ran down his cheeks. The thought of someone hurting her , robbing her of her innocence made his skin crawl. He could feel her trembling in his arms. She looked up at him her eyes filled with fear and sadness. "I'm sorry" she whispered. He looked at her "You have nothing to be sorry for" She sighed sadly. "Yes I do I should have told you sooner, you married a broken, tainted woman" She looked away from him.   
  
Carter gently turned her back toward him. "No I didn't I married a beautiful, intelligent, loving woman" "What happened to you 20 years ago wasn't your fault and it doesn't change the way I feel about you" "I love you and I always will." She looked at him and whispered. "I love you too" She took a deep breath she had to tell him the rest. "John I, I have something else I have to tell you" He smiled "okay what is it" Hse took another deep breath "John I.." she didn't get to finish she was interrupted by the sounds of two pagers sounding. Carter got up "We better go" She grabbed his hand "John wait I have to tell you" He pulled her up to him. "Its okay Kerry you can tell me later" She sighed and followed him out to the ER.  
  
They arrived in time to see Doris Pickman racing in with a gurney. Carter and Kerry gowned up along with Abby and Lydia. Carter yelled "What do we got." Doris filled them in. "20 year old woman name's Zoey Warner she was found down in her apartment by her roommate" "The roommate said Ms. Warner's boyfriend did this to her" Kerry looked down at the young woman. She was covered in bruises. She had a fairly deep head lac, and by the way her arm laid on the gurney you could tell it had been broken. Lydia checked her vital signs and started an iv while Kerry and Abby started to remove her clothes so they could get her into a gown. Abby removed the young woman's blouse and her reddish brown hair spread out on the pillow. She was about to put the gown on her when Kerry noticed something it was a small birthmark in the shape of a crescent moon on her left shoulder. She started to tremble. Nausea swept over her as she ran from the room.   
  
Carter who had been busy assessing her injuries looked up in time to se his wife run from the room. He turned to Lydia "Page another doctor I'll stay until they get here." Lydia nodded "okay Carter" She walked over to the phone and dialed a pager number. A few minutes later Susan walked through the double doors. Carter filled her in on the patient and her condition. He thanked Susan and took off in search for Kerry.  
  
Kerry ran to the ladies room. She had gotten sick a few times before sliding down to the floor in tears. A memory kept playing over and over in her head.  
  
~Flashback~  
  
"Congratulations Kerry you have a baby girl" Would you like to see her"  
"No I, I can't look at her"  
"You should look at her Kerry she's beautiful and she has the cutest little crescent moon birthmark"  
"No I, I can't please just take her away"  
~ ~  
  
The memories made Kerry sick to her stomach. She had only been 19 years old. When she found out her brutal attack had left her pregnant. She knew she couldn't be a mother to the child but she didn't have the heart to abort it either. So she gave her child away just as her mother had given her away. She never thought she'd see the child again but here she was in her ER.   
  
Carter knew he shouldn't be in the ladies room but Deb had told him Kerry had ran in there. He opened the door a little bit and he could hear her crying. He had to go in and find out what was wrong. He walked slowly to the stall where Kerry sat crying. He knelt down in front of her. "Kerry honey what is it what has you so upset?" She looked at him. "John that woman in the trauma room" Carter nodded "Zoey Warner? What about her" Kerry whispers. "John she's, she's my daughter".  
  
What will Carter's reaction be to Kerry's confession? Will Kerry tell Zoey who she is? Will the rest of the ER find out Kerry's secret? Find out in Chapter 2: Are You My Mother......Coming Soon!!!!!!! 


	2. Chapter 2:She's My Daughter

For the record I get alot of stuff saying Kerry's too old they're not a good couple ect ect... Well #1 age is just a number especially if you love that person. # 2 I like Kerry and Carter together and its MY story! Plus I happen to know there are others that feel the same. #3 I state in my summery that its a Kerry/Carter story so if you don't like it well then don't read it, so just deal with it! Okay enough ranting enjoy the story! :)  
  
Just a little something I forgot to add as I mentioned Carter and Kerry are married in this story and they've been together since his return from Atlanta and they have an 18 month old daughter Lucy Gabrielle Carter.   
  
  
Chapter 2: She's My Daughter  
  
  
Kerry whispers "She's, she's my daughter" She looked away from him. Carter sat silently for a minute before he spoke. "What?!" he whispered. Kerry could tell by the tone of his voice that he was a little upset. She took a deep breath "That's what I was trying to tell you before the trauma came in" He looked at her. "Kerry I don't understand how is that young woman your daughter?" Kerry's eyes began to fill with tears again. "After my attack I, I found out I was pregnant" "I knew there was no way I could be a mother to the child but I didn't have the heart to abort it either" "So I gave my baby away I wouldn't even look at her I just gave her away" "Just like my mother gave me away" She covered her face with her hands. "I told them to take her away like she was trash"   
  
Carter pulled her into his arms. "Shh its okay Kerry you were only 19 you didn't get pregnant out of love , your pregnancy was the result of a vicious crime" "You gave up your baby because you knew you couldn't give her the life she deserved" "You gave her up because you loved her" Carter pulled away enough so he could look at her. "Are you sure that Zoey Warner is the baby you gave up" Kerry nodded. "She has a little crescent moon birthmark on her left shoulder my baby had that same birthmark." Carter wiped a lone tear from her cheek. "So what are you going to do?" "Are you going to tell her who you are?"  
  
Kerry looked at him. "I can't tell her who I am" "She'd never understand" Carter looked at her "What do you think she wouldn't understand?" Kerry sighed sadly. "I gave her away John and I had another daughter and I kept her" "She'll hate me for not keeping her too" He took her hand in his. "Kerry you can't compare them they're too different" "Zoey was conceived from a horrible crime and Lucy she was conceived out of love" She nodded "I know John but what if I tell her and she wants to know why I gave her away" Carter pushed a few loose strands of hair out of her face. "You tell her what you told me, you tell her the truth"   
  
Kerry sighed sadly. " I want to talk to her John but what if I tell her I'm her mother and she tells me to get out that she wants nothing to do with me" Carter looked at her "but what if she's happy she found you and she wants to get to know you" "There's only one way to find out, you have to talk to her Kerry" She knew he was right. "Alright but I don't think I can do it alone will you come with me" Carter smiled " Of course I will" He stood up and took her hand. He helped her up.  
  
They walked over to the admit desk where Susan was standing. Carter lightly touched her shoulder. "Hey Susan how's Zoey Warner." Susan smiled. "Hey Carter, she had several broken ribs, a deep head lac that's been sutured and alot of bruising" He looked at her. "What room is she in" he asked "She's in exam 2 we're still waiting on her labs" Susan responded. He nodded "okay thanks Susan" She nodded as she watched him and Kerry walk away.   
  
Carter and Kerry stood outside exam 2. Kerry looked at Carter. "I don't think I can do this John" she whispered. He took her hand and squeezed it gently. "It'll be okay I'll be right there with you" He slowly pushed the door open. Kerry looked at the young woman laying on the bed. Her arm was in a cast and there was a bandage on her forehead. She nervously walked toward the bed. The young woman turned to look at her. Kerry smiled a little. "Hi Zoey I'm Dr. Weaver and this is Dr. Carter, how are you feeling" Zoey looked at the two doctors. "Hey, Okay I guess when can I get out of here" Kerry pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down. She took a deep breath "Zoey I need to talk to you" Zoey thought she knew what was coming "Look I don't know what Maura told you but Kyle loves me he'd never hurt me on purpose I'm fine I just want to go home" Kerry could see the sadness and pain in her eyes. She lightly touched her arm. "Zoey I'm not here to talk about your boyfriend" She looked at her. "You're not? Then what do you want to talk to me about"  
  
Kerry looked over at Carter he smiled and nodded. She turned back to Zoey. She hated to lie but she had to find out if this girl was really her daughter first. " Zoey I was looking over your chart and I noticed you didn't give Dr. Lewis any family history" She nodded " I know that's because I was adopted at birth I don't know anything about my birth parents." Kerry's eyes began to fill with tears. Zoey looked at her. "Dr. Weaver are you alright" She nodded "Yes I'm fine" Zoey sighed. "Dr. Weaver when can I go home I have midterms to study for" Kerry looked at her "Midterms?" She nodded. "Yeah I'm a freshman in college, premed" Kerry smiled "So Mauna's your dorm mate" Zoey nodded "Yeah and she thinks she knows everything because she just turned 20 and I'm still 19" she giggled "I'll show her I'll be 20 in" Kerry whispered "July" She looked at her "Yeah how'd you know that Dr. Weaver?"  
  
Tears filled Kerry's eyes once again. She knew there was no easy way to say it. "Zoey I'm" she froze up. She looked at her. "you're what Dr. Weaver" Kerry took a deep breath "I'm your mother" she whispered. Zoey looked horrified she stared at Kerry in shock.  
  
What will Zoey's reaction and feeling toward Kerry be? Will Kerry tell Zoey the truth about her past?   
Find out in Chapter 3: Family Secrets......................Coming Soon!!!!! 


	3. Chapter 3:Family Secrets

For the record I get alot of stuff saying Kerry's too old they're not a good couple ect ect... Well #1 age is just a number especially if you love that person. # 2 I like Kerry and Carter together and its MY story! Plus I happen to know there are others that feel the same. #3 I state in my summery that its a Kerry/Carter story so if you don't like it well then don't read it, so just deal with it! Okay enough ranting enjoy the story! :)  
  
Just a little something I forgot to add as I mentioned Carter and Kerry are married in this story and they've been together since his return from Atlanta and they have an 18 month old daughter Lucy Gabrielle Carter.   
  
Disclaimer: All ER characters belong to Warner Bros., Michael Chricton, and NBC. Zoey Warner, Phoebe Sacks, Troy, Maura, Kyle, Lucy Gabrielle Carter, Maria and William Weaver, Cassie and Noah Warner, Julianna Warner are my characters.  
  
Rating: PG, mild language, mild description of sexual assault.   
  
Chapter 3: Family Secrets  
  
  
Zoey sat there staring at Kerry with shock. "You're...you're my ...my ...mother" she finally whispered. Kerry nodded. "Yes" she whispered. Zoey's eyes started to fill with tears. She turned away from her. Kerry tried to talk to her "Zoey sweeite I.." "Just go away" she whispered. "You didn't want me then so why would you want me now" Kerry was crying now as she reached up and stroked the girl's hair. "It wasn't like that Zoey there's so much you don't know" She slowly turned to face her. "So then tell me, what is it that I don't know" Kerry started to feel sick again. "I...I" she stood up and raced toward the door. Zoey sighed "go on abandon me just like you did before" Kerry froze. Carter was now at her side he squeezed her hand. She leaned on him. "I can't tell her why I gave her away John I can't" she whispered.   
  
  
Carter looked into her tear filled eyes "Yes you can" he whispered "You're the strongest person I know" he whispered "I don't feel very strong right now" she whispered. He continued to hold her hand "I know" He started to lead her back toward Zoey's bed. "John...no...I...I" He looked at her "Its okay I'm right here with you" She sighed letting him continue to lead her over to Zoey. She suddenly begun to shake. Zoey looked at her "So how does he fit in to all this" she asked pointing at Carter. "Is he my father" Kerry shook her head "No he's my husband" she whispered. "Who is my father" she asked. "I...I...don't know" Kerry answered. Zoey looked at her "You were that big of a slut that you don't even know who the hell my father is" she said angrily.  
  
  
Kerry was shaking even more now. "no it was nothing like that Zoey I...I...was" she was unable to finish she was over come with tears. Zoey looked at her "You were what" she said loudly. Kerry looked over at Carter and he nodded slowly. She turned back to Zoey. "I was...I was...raped" she finally whispered. Zoey looked at her "What?" she whispered "I was 19 years old I was studying at the library with my roommate and her boyfriend." "They left and I stayed and did some more studying" "I was walking back to my dorm when somebody grabbed me from behind" When I tried to get away he broke my leg" "He threw me down to the ground and he...he...raped me" Her eyes filled with tears again.   
  
  
Zoey was stunned. "Oh my god that's...that's awful" she whispered "My father was...was...the rapist" she asked. Kerry nodded "Yes" she whispered. Zoey started to tremble. "Are...are you sure" she nodded again. "Yes I'm sure I...I was a virgin until that night" she whispered as the tears rolled down her cheeks. Zoey started to sob. She tried to get out of bed. "No wonder you gave me away" "You hated me" "You probably still hate me because when you look at me all you see is what that horrible man did to you" She got tangled in the sheets and landed on the floor. Both Carter and Kerry ran to her aide. She sat there in a heap sobbing.   
  
  
Kerry stroked the girl's hair. "Zoey honey I never hated you" "How could you not hate me" she whispered through her sobs. "Why didn't you get an abortion?" she asked. "I couldn't do it" she whispered "I thought you deserved a chance to live just like my mother thought I did" Zoey looked up at her. "What" she whispered. "I was adopted at birth too" she whispered "Maria and William Weaver were my adopted parents" "Were?" Zoey said. Kerry nodded "They were killed in a car accident a few years ago" Zoey started to calm down a little "My adopted parents are Cassie and Noah Warner and when I was 8 Cassie had a baby my little sister Julianna" Kerry smiled "I had another child too" she smiled a little "really" she said. Kerry nodded "Yep her name is Lucy Gabrielle Carter she's almost 2"  
  
  
Carter watched the two women with a smile. Zoey smiled "Cool I'd love to meet her sometime" Kerry was surprised "Really" she asked. She nodded "Sure I mean she is my baby sister" "I'd like to get to know her, my stepdad and you" "That is if you and your husband want to get to know me" she said. Kerry smiled "Of course I would love to get to know you" she whispered. Carter smiled and added "And so would I" They both hugged her.  
  
  
Susan walked in "How are you feeling Zo" she stopped when she saw Kerry and Carter hugging Zoey. Susan cleared her throat. "Umm Kerry why is my patient on the floor and why are you two hugging her. Carter stood up and helped Zoey and Kerry to their feet. Kerry smiled "Susan I want you to meet Zoey, my daughter" Susan looked at her in shock. "What!?!" "How" Kerry didn't feel like telling the whole sad story so she simply said "I got pregnant when I was 19 I gave the baby up for adoption" Susan was speechless she didn't know what to say.  
  
What will Susan's reaction be? Will Zoey get closer to her new family?.....Find Out In Chapter 4:Getting To Know You.....Coming Soon 


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